ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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