Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
So here I am, sexting at work.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
