her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
