No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
