It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
