He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
