Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
