He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We're too hungover to prance.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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