So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She announced her abortion via fbk
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
