Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
