I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
