Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
