I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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