doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
