you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
