No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
