They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
