he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
