who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
