He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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