sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
