so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
