i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
