So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
