hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
