it hurts more in the daytime
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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