i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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