remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
