Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
