Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im holly from the hills drunk
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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