Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
