Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
