You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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