dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
