I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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