just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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