Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
His nipple licking is glorious
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