Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
