his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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