I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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