Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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