you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
