Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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