I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
