shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
