Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
