I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
