good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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