anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
