i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I wear drunk well.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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