Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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