some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
